I want to document some of my childhood with stories of what I can remember, some will be funny, some will be pointless, here is my first entry about my favorite trip to the bowling alley.
My friend Anthony had a father who would bowl all the time, and we would go because there was a decent arcade and we got to stay up late. This must have been about 2nd or 3rd grade and around that time a good arcade needed a Simpsons game and you would be set. But this one also had NBA Jam when it was cool, because you were 8 and seeing Shaq jump from across the court and dunk was awesome. Boomshakalaka.
Anyways, our other friend Brian would come along because his dad was a super-bowler or something, he had been given rings for bowling 300’s, and 300 is perfect, so that’s pretty damn good.
We were in the arcade hanging out, when Anthony was leaning on two games at the same time. He was touching a bolt on each of the games at the same time and it sent some electricity INTO him. He promptly told us to try it, and because it seemed like it was safe for him we knew it would be for us too. So I tried it, and let me tell you, that felt completely insane. It was like when you put your tongue on a 9 volt battery, but throughout your whole body. Brian then tried this amazing feat we had just discovered. Then a small girl, who must have been about 4, saw what we were doing and emulated it only instead of being a kid and enjoying the voltage, she decided to be a crying bitch about things.
Her father comes over there and he was a beast. He was drunk and large, and not just large in the sense, “oh you’re 9, everyone is bigger than you” but in the sense of “my father would NOT beat you up.” He is clearly pissed because we were having fun, but his dumb ass daughter ruined everything. Anthony and I ran to the other end of the bowling alley because he about to do something. You know how you will be out and some little kids are raising hell and you think, “If I was that kids parents I would…” then you remember you are not that kids parents and don’t do anything. This guy did not stop and think that, he went straight to the Darwin theory and decided stupid had no place on this Earth.
Anthony and I escaped, but knew somehow that Brian was a step too late and the big ass father grabs him and holds him in the air like it’s Jack Bauer trying to get information. Anthony and I don’t know what the guy said but Brian came back where we were looking like it was pretty fucking important.
And that was the best trip to the bowling alley I ever had.
